Life is a plague; a chronic disease

Why do I get up when I keep getting kicked down? Why do i bother? It’s more comfortable staying down it seems. It hurts to get up again because I know I’m just going to get kicked down AGAIN. I have had a full life and I am just waiting for death. I’m not going to take my own life. I am waiting for it to end. Won’t somebody put a gun to my head while I’m sleeping? Make it painless as I’ve had enough pain.



  1. What’s the point in Hope? I’ve learned that it’s best not to get my hopes up from past experience. Recently I had good reason to hope that I was to be getting a canine companion, everything was in place. I ordered a crate for crate training, a harness, dogbed, and nutritional food. Even toys and treats. I was supposed to be getting him yesterday, the 24th of September. The 22nd of this month I was notified by the foster Mom’s supervisor that he wasn’t the dog for me. The foster Mom gave me every reason to believe he was mine didn’t have the decency herself to tell me. I was crushed. I will never hope for anything again. I give up.


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